i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
