No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
