we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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