Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
