it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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