Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
