1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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