called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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