she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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