Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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