you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
