lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
