just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
