It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
