It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
