Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
