dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
