then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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