Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we're making bets on your personal life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
