look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize