mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
