it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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