Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
