fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
