Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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