So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she looked like the before picture.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
