I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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