Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
