I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
