I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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