you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
