just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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