why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
