kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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