Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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