It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
