just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
