Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
