Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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