your thong is hanging out like whoa
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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