So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
