coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
