Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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