God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize