she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
