When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
