We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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