i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
