I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
