your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
