So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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