K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
