I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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