ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What a dumb baby whore.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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