You're so nebulous sometimes
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
