I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
