i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
