so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My penis needs a shock collar
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
