at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
