It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
