not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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