I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
