the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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