Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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