Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
