i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
