she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
